Please keep the Guidelines for Respectful Dialogue in mind when posting to this discussion board:
We are all individuals guaranteed freedom of expression and freedom of belief. In a college or university setting these freedoms are essential to the pursuit of our academic mission. We are also members of a community.
As members of a caring community we recognize that freedom of expression and freedom of belief are not only rights, but also privileges. We have a choice regarding when and how we exercise our freedom to share our ideas and beliefs with others. Before we speak, we might consider the following questions* as we reflect on what it means to engage in respectful dialogue:
• Do I think about building a community that fosters the intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual good of everyone?
• Am I practicing the “Golden Rule”? That is, do I treat others as I would want to be treated?
• Do I consider beneficence and autonomy? Beneficence means to act in a way that not only avoids harm to others, but actually benefits others. Autonomy is allowing others to make choices based on complete information.**
• When disagreeing with people, do I try to be respectful and avoid making personal attacks?
• Do I listen openly and carefully to what others say, opening myself to opinions different from my own?
• Do I examine myself for evidence of prejudice, and then work to overcome it?
• Do I think about power: who has it, and how it should be used? Am I careful touse my own power for just and constructive ends?
• Do I seek ways to be open to opinions and ideas without weakening my commitment to critical thinking, intellectual rigor, and truth-seeking?
• Do I resist the temptation to accept and spread rumor and innuendo?
• Am I careful to consult and back up my opinions with evidence, even if it may mean taking greater time in the process?
• Am I careful to credit others, rather than taking credit for works and ideas not my own?
• Do I seek to evaluate students, teachers, colleagues, employees, and co-workers honestly and fairly?
• Do I represent the College in a way that guards and cares for the College’s reputation for integrity?
• Am I careful to avoid all forms of violence and coercion in my relations with others?
• When conflicts arise, do I take constructive action to resolve them?
• Do I think carefully about the ways the College as an institution can be a force for justice in the world?
Sources:
*Earlham College Community Principles and Practices:
www.earlham.edu/p&p.html**Policy of Central College Counseling Services Regarding Sexual Orientation and Counseling Sexual Minority Students
Suggestions that evolve from the guiding principles for respectful dialogue:
• Active listening increases the likelihood of being heard. Reflect back to make sure everyone understands the message being conveyed by the speaker. Define words and terminology.
• You are more likely to be heard, when you speak in ways that make it clear you are expressing your own view and take responsibility for it.
• In general, “I-messages” are almost always better than “you-messages” and tend to be more effective. The use of “I-messages” encourages the speaker to own beliefs and positions and to take responsibility for these. Further, “you-messages”often leave others feeling accused, blamed or attacked, which can produce defensiveness and counterattack, and result in little positive change.
• Avoid making sweeping generalizations that appear to speak on behalf of others or that make claims about what others think or believe. It is unlikely that all members of a group that share a common label will subscribe to exactly the same set of beliefs—unless it is a very small group.
